Stanton discussing Whitten's Flowchart of Wonder: "Biology and Chemistry would've been easy in the Middle Ages. All the answers would be God."

THIS IS FUNNY BC WE ACTUALLY LEARNED ABOUT ALCHEMY IN CHEMISTRY YESTERDAY.
i know: what.

We're learning about post-reformation Europe. (Which reformation? The Protestant one - oh, and the catholic counter reformation. why did you capitalize the "p" in protestant and not in the "c" in catholic? are you biased? no, i'm lazy.)

so, obv, mr. stanton unleashes his new joke (perfected all summer), with the usual vomit-inducing effects (much like phenalpthalein, except, it's coming from your mouth).
"If you are ~*baroque, then you ain't got no ~*monet. And if you ain't got ~*monet, then you can't make the ~*van gogh."

HORRIBLE, RIGHT?
but so endearing.

oh, and ms. lopez (our new mr. stanton. i don't care, i hate my life) gave us a david letterman style presentation.
"10 reasons you should be in humanities"
when it got to the end, it was no longer funny, but sordid and pathetic in how much it epitomized my life (4. "Carpal tunnel!"... 8. "I don't have a life and neither do I want one."  9. "I don't care about the GPA at all!" )

i know they say sophomore year is loads better than freshmen year, but fuck that shit - no, it's not.

what am i talking about.

why

Back when we were going over the effects of the cultural/intellectual/ideological/artistic renaissance (oh, sorry, the Renaissance) in Italy on northern Europe, I remember reading about how France toned down its architecture from the overindulgent style of Gothic architecture (details, details, details everywhere) to incorporate classical accessories (corinthian columns go here), whereas stanton mentioned in class about how France was just style-style-style-details flapping brazenly in the wind
and
we went from there
to discussing how France set itself up for the revolution

I
OUR CLASS IS (JASPER IS NOT YOUR REALITY NOW) WAS SO FULL OF DIGRESSIONS 
oh god orz we never finished the germany/italy/et al powerpoint from the middle ages because we were telling sloth jokes

idk why am i reminiscing
because i don't want to review this textbook and my notes

 

( hetalia art orz )

hahaha i love doing doodles 8U
comment with a doodle request hahaha? * U *
I'D PREFER HETALIA BC I AM IN LIKE NO FANDOMS ORZ

so michelangelo painted the sistine chapel
head craned, back arched, butt out, stomach belliose (That a word? I don't know. It surrounded appropriate.)

mr stanton told us to get a notecard, tape it under the desk, and draw on it.

he told us he was not responsible for the gross things we encountered.

i think i saw enough gum, boogers, and idk what the hale shit to satisfy me for life

SERIOUSLY

OH
and our current event is about obama's addressing of gays

hahahahah ohhhh mr stanton, I love this article.

I'M SORRY FOR MAKING YOUR FLIST HUGE
actually probably only like two of you have me on your flist
so um
dsfdsf

in humanities, when we were discussing the Rise of National Monarchies errr or it could have been the Crusades
i really don't remember anymore orz

in bio, when we were doing the introduction to HIV and AIDS

( groce coraline and hetalia art lmao )
comments open so you can tell me what a douche i am. i know, i know.

We can better appreciate the density and complexity of Dante's symbolism by looking at a single example. Our common image of Satan is that of a sly tempter (in popular art he is often in formal dress whispering blandishments in a willing ear with just a whiff of sulphur about him) after the manner of Milton's proud, perversely tragic, heroic Satan in Paradise Lost. For Dante, Satan is a huge, stupid beast, frozen in a lake of ice in the pit of hell. He beats six batlike wings (a demonic leftover from his angelic existence; ...

Beyond that, the whole complex of Satan is heavily weight with symbolic significance. Satan lies in frozen darkness at a point in the universe farthest fom the warmth and light of God. He is the fallen angel of light (Lucifer means "light-bearer"), now encased in a pit in the center of the earth excavated by the force of his own fall from heaven. Satan is immobile, compared to God, who is the mover of all things in the universe. He is totally inarticulate and stupid because he represents, par excellence, all of the souls of hell who have lost what Dante calls "the good of intellect." Satan, and all the souls in hell, will remain totally unfulfilled as created rational beings because they are cut off from the final source of rational understanding and fulfillment: God. Intellectual estrangment from God is for Dante, as it was for Thomas Aquinas, the essence of damnation. This estrangment is most evident in the case of Satan, who symbolizes in his very being the loss of rationality and all that derives from that fact.

i loved reading dante's divine comedy
i loved paradise lost
i love theology
i love THIS
this is GREAT
THIS TEXTBOOK NEEDS TO COME ALIVE AND BE MY BEST FRIEND KIND OF LIKE HARRY POTTER, EXCEPT NOT, BECAUSE I THINK THE BOOK WAS VOLDEMORT AND THEN HE TRIED TO KILL HARRY. OR SUMMON SOME GIGANTIC SNAKE WHICH WOULD HAVE INEVITABLY PROLIFERATED THE CIRCUMSTANCES, SCHISMS, HEIGHTENED STRATIFICATIONS, AND UNSTABLE SOCIOPOLITICAL CONDITIONS NEEDED IN A HYPOTHETICAL WIZARDING EDUCATIONAL INSTITUTION TO KILL HIM.

one day your life will flash before your eyes. Make sure it's worth watching.
(to phrase it in another way: "Come on, you sons of bitches, do you want to live forever?")
(and yet another: "regret for the things we did can be tempered with time, it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable." sydney j. harris)

"You know, my lord, that amongst living creatures it is the great ones that God smites with his thunder, out of envy of their pride. The little ones do not vex him. It is always the great buildings and the tall trees which are struck by lightning. It is God’s way to bring the lofty low.... For God tolerates pride in none but Himself."
herodotus, the histories

and i would like to quote, UMM, all of Plato's Republic.

it's a little sad that there is a sparknotes on the BIBLE y/y

it's a little sad that i'm using it right now y/y

I WONDER IF THERE IS ONE WITH THE QUR'AN . that would be so blasphemous. I THINK? IDK NO IMAGES AT LEAST.

"You wanna fight? Let's go. I've got 3,000 reformers behind me, LET'S GO."

It comes up quite a lot in rl conversations, and it's all because of humanities.
Spartacus, Attila, and (some other significant Roman person who advanced the field of militant tactics) were arguing over who was most capable of leading a military strike against Asia.
And then, in the middle, Spartacus just went, "I'VE GOT THREE THOUSAND REFORMERS BEHIND ME. LET'S GO."
And it was too nerdy and shameful to not laugh at.

so to all the humanity/former humanity kids;

( our class day was spent talking about )
( so you know what he does )

o mr stanton, sometimes i think you just get bored ):
heyy i'm pontius pilate BAM

have you seen this man?
because he is awesome
(also I need to find a sailor outfit. help)